Life is a never ending cycle of development: always living, learning and finding new sides of us that make ourselves uniquely us. I find that as I age, my respect for myself and those close to me grows exponentially. Good friends last forever, and those people have proven themselves time and time again as loyal individuals that I can always count on. Thick and thin.
I have lived in Nashville for over three years now. I had such a drive to get here when I was in Knoxville, a town I once loved and sought to get to. I find myself noticing a cycle; a cycle that always takes me to the next step in my life. Life always seems to have some way of showing us where we are to go and when our time is to do so.
My last few months in Chattanooga, I spent most of time in Knoxville or trying to find ways to relocate there faster. I loved my two years at UTC. My frat, my first romantic interest that was male, my first time experiencing so much in life. I have so much to remember, so much to hold dear. With all of the memories and good times, I knew that it was my time to move on with my life.
When I got to Knoxville, I was overly comfortable with the idea of being gay and open with it for the first time. Comically, I found the nastiest of bars intriguing, as it was new to me to go out and mingle with other gay men. Nasty run down clubs that I completely overlooked in excitement of having a place to go. My years at UT were some of my most memorable. I made great lifelong friends, developed myself greatly, made some many collegiate memories and I fell in love for the first time. Like Chattanooga, life eventually showed me the way to the door, and I closed the chapter of my life entitled "Knoxville" and opened the next here in Music City.
Nashville brought me my career, owning my first home and the realities associated with the real world. Bills, bills, bills. I had the awesome opportunity to own a home with my two best friends. Im really glad I got to experience this with them. I have enjoyed my time here. Im grateful for my friends, and the memories that I have made here. Great friends, romantic flings gone so-so, and some very wrong. I forgive all, and ask for forgiveness in return.
I can feel the transition coming again. Im finally going to move to the city that I have been dreaming of living in for the longest time. I hope to be in New York City by Sept. 2012. The excitement is overwheling. I just pray to the lord that he continues to guide me to where I am supposed to be. It is now that I am trying to appreciate the time that I have here. This chapter of my life has a near end, and I am eager to begin the next; to continue to live, learn and love, after all, thats what living is.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Just a blink, and a year has gone by.
It seems like ages since I have updated this blog. Ages since I have sat down for enough time to reflect; to collect my thoughts and paste them together to make a coherent explanation of my current point in life. As I sit here on my bed at 12:11 am on a Saturday night, I am attempting to piece together the last 12 months of my life and figure out a seeminly unsolvable question: what happened?
So much has happened with my professional life. I have grown immensely. I am even about to begin the application process for a promotion. I have learned that I want to work for my company as a long-term employee. I am truly blessed to work in the organization that I do.
My personal life has been really interesting over the past year. I was involved in a really bizarre, really left-field relationship for a brief period last fall, which quickly defined itself and just as quickly terminated. I took an incredible lesson away from that situation, and I find it strange that you tend to learn meaningful things from events that you generally dont expect to cause such lessons. I learned that I me, and I refuse to allow someone else dictate certain aspects of my life. They will have to embrace me for me: my past, present and future.
In all honesty, he was a fantastic guy, just fantastically not for me.
I took a trip to visit a friend in NYC, and I immediately fell in love with the city. About an hour into my visit, I knew that I would someday be a New Yorker. Manhattan is an incredible place that felt nothing short of surreal to me. I can hardly wait until my time comes to make that transition.
My home has since been broken into twice. Ive lost multiple pieces of electronic equipment; all of which I can comfortably live without. Some of the things I needed to lose anyway. Funny how things work out.
I've since bought a new car. Wow, so much has really changed over the last year. So much that I never even realized occured so fast.
A close friend of mine took a promotion in another city, and he is no longer my roommate. That was a big change (he is doing fantastic in the new market). Another friend moved in and is renting his room.
I have developed incredibly, and I have learned things about myself that I never even realized. New hobbies. New taste buds. I've discovered what works for me and what doesnt. I've learned things that make me proud to be myself, and embrace my individuality.
I've learned that some friends will always be there for you, and that some people are looking for an opportunity to kick you down---such is life.
My days as a 25-year-old are coming to an end, and a new chapter entitled "big 26" is about to begin. Before I know it "big 30" will be here, and I can only pray that I am in NYC before 27 comes along.
Keep your head up and keep going. Love deeply. Forgive. Leave nothing behind but judgement. Learn, live, love. Embrace your past, love your present, and dream of your future.
So much has happened with my professional life. I have grown immensely. I am even about to begin the application process for a promotion. I have learned that I want to work for my company as a long-term employee. I am truly blessed to work in the organization that I do.
My personal life has been really interesting over the past year. I was involved in a really bizarre, really left-field relationship for a brief period last fall, which quickly defined itself and just as quickly terminated. I took an incredible lesson away from that situation, and I find it strange that you tend to learn meaningful things from events that you generally dont expect to cause such lessons. I learned that I me, and I refuse to allow someone else dictate certain aspects of my life. They will have to embrace me for me: my past, present and future.
In all honesty, he was a fantastic guy, just fantastically not for me.
I took a trip to visit a friend in NYC, and I immediately fell in love with the city. About an hour into my visit, I knew that I would someday be a New Yorker. Manhattan is an incredible place that felt nothing short of surreal to me. I can hardly wait until my time comes to make that transition.
My home has since been broken into twice. Ive lost multiple pieces of electronic equipment; all of which I can comfortably live without. Some of the things I needed to lose anyway. Funny how things work out.
I've since bought a new car. Wow, so much has really changed over the last year. So much that I never even realized occured so fast.
A close friend of mine took a promotion in another city, and he is no longer my roommate. That was a big change (he is doing fantastic in the new market). Another friend moved in and is renting his room.
I have developed incredibly, and I have learned things about myself that I never even realized. New hobbies. New taste buds. I've discovered what works for me and what doesnt. I've learned things that make me proud to be myself, and embrace my individuality.
I've learned that some friends will always be there for you, and that some people are looking for an opportunity to kick you down---such is life.
My days as a 25-year-old are coming to an end, and a new chapter entitled "big 26" is about to begin. Before I know it "big 30" will be here, and I can only pray that I am in NYC before 27 comes along.
Keep your head up and keep going. Love deeply. Forgive. Leave nothing behind but judgement. Learn, live, love. Embrace your past, love your present, and dream of your future.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
The Luckiest
I find that I always do my deepest reflecting when I should be diverting my energy to some other immediate task. I am running a little late this morning, and an epiphany struck while clumsily jamming one leg in my dress slacks and juggling a cup of coffee AND typing (its an interesting sight).
While I should be worried about getting to work "on time" (which in reality is twenty minutes early as I am ALWAYS early), all I could think about was how lucky I have been throughout my entire life. Literally, my life has been a series of incredible luck. This little mental revolution sparked last night over drinks at Broadway Brewhouse, where I was telling my friends that I was one fat-ass little baby and weighed 10lbs at birth. My mom had to have an emergency caesarean section to give birth to me. I began to wonder if I was born 100 years earlier, would I have survived an emergency birth? Maybe things would have been just fine, but to my understanding, I wasn't an easy newborn to bear (you try forcing a 10lb screaming baby full of watermelon out of your body and see how that goes). Something to be thankful for right off the bat. That spark resurfaced this morning in the midst of my failed attempt to multitask.
So I sit here, shirt unbuttoned and stubly face, thinking that I am the luckiest person on earth, and I am so thankful for everything I have. I can't help but think fate might have a hand in all my endeavors. I got the job I wanted. I have a college degree without any debt. I am healthy. I am pretty awesome :). I have great friends. Everything I could ever want. I realize these things, and I am eternally grateful.
My life feels like an interactive photo album. One with pages and pages of memories of incredible people, and the exciting part is I just got started. Thanks for being a part of that.
While I should be worried about getting to work "on time" (which in reality is twenty minutes early as I am ALWAYS early), all I could think about was how lucky I have been throughout my entire life. Literally, my life has been a series of incredible luck. This little mental revolution sparked last night over drinks at Broadway Brewhouse, where I was telling my friends that I was one fat-ass little baby and weighed 10lbs at birth. My mom had to have an emergency caesarean section to give birth to me. I began to wonder if I was born 100 years earlier, would I have survived an emergency birth? Maybe things would have been just fine, but to my understanding, I wasn't an easy newborn to bear (you try forcing a 10lb screaming baby full of watermelon out of your body and see how that goes). Something to be thankful for right off the bat. That spark resurfaced this morning in the midst of my failed attempt to multitask.
So I sit here, shirt unbuttoned and stubly face, thinking that I am the luckiest person on earth, and I am so thankful for everything I have. I can't help but think fate might have a hand in all my endeavors. I got the job I wanted. I have a college degree without any debt. I am healthy. I am pretty awesome :). I have great friends. Everything I could ever want. I realize these things, and I am eternally grateful.
My life feels like an interactive photo album. One with pages and pages of memories of incredible people, and the exciting part is I just got started. Thanks for being a part of that.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
"jimmy goes hungry fund"
I have been trying to commit myself to eating out only a couple of times a week in an effort to save money. Owning a home is far more expensive than I previously projected and "old faithful" piece of shit car has a new issue every other month. So, I am attempting to be a responsible adult and,thus far, it hasn't been working out so well. I actually sat down and attempted to figure out exactly how much I am spending on a WEEKLY basis on eating out on lunchbreak alone, and came to a depressing estimate of nearly 20 dollars a day on LUNCH, which is completely ridiculous.
I am happy to report that I am making baby steps into this adulthood thing and am eating tv dinners for breakfast, lunch and dinner. So yes, that means my car isn't going to be making that horrifying, loud shifting noise much longer, and yes that new roof I just replaced was expensive as hell (feel free to make donations to the "jimmy goes hungry fund"---beer and home-cooked meals gladly accepted).
I am happy to report that I am making baby steps into this adulthood thing and am eating tv dinners for breakfast, lunch and dinner. So yes, that means my car isn't going to be making that horrifying, loud shifting noise much longer, and yes that new roof I just replaced was expensive as hell (feel free to make donations to the "jimmy goes hungry fund"---beer and home-cooked meals gladly accepted).
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
a day without rain
i was outside today, and i realized something that has managed to evade me for some time now. i stopped walking for a moment and looked up at the sky and was reminded of how beautiful our earth is and how lucky i am to be alive.
a little over a year ago, a friend that i had back in college passed away suddenly. sadly, that is how life works. one day you are alive and happy, and the next you are gone.
just admiring something simple like the beauty of a tree, or the happiness a dog or loved one brings you, should be a reminder that you are still alive. life is about appreciation, and the more you do it, the more you feel alive.
take advantage of the little things in life. take advantage of the big things too. you never know when something or someone will be gone. tell someone you love them and that you appreciate them, and remind people of how you feel. it is worth it. i promise.
a little over a year ago, a friend that i had back in college passed away suddenly. sadly, that is how life works. one day you are alive and happy, and the next you are gone.
just admiring something simple like the beauty of a tree, or the happiness a dog or loved one brings you, should be a reminder that you are still alive. life is about appreciation, and the more you do it, the more you feel alive.
take advantage of the little things in life. take advantage of the big things too. you never know when something or someone will be gone. tell someone you love them and that you appreciate them, and remind people of how you feel. it is worth it. i promise.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil
Throughout every day life, everyone is guilty, at some point, of being let down over something insignificant going wrong. It is the smallest things that can put us in a bad mood or even ruin the day. The small bumps in the road are enough to make you steam or get flustered, but they are the very things that make a good day what is it, when it happens.
In story of Adam and Eve, the tree of knowledge of good and evil was the entity that showed the very nature of evil (indirectly) and cost the two the eutopic life in the garden. However, without realizing evil, the two never truly appreciated the good. The concept may seem simplistic, but the moral of the story is incredibly relevant and can be applied to just about anything in life.
My point is the small things in life that make you feel like your day is ruined are the very things that make your life beautiful. Why? They make you realize everything you have, and then you appreciate things when they do go your way. Without all the little wrong things, you would be so used to everything going right, that it would be just as bad as things always going wrong. It would just be routine. Boring, unappreciative routine.
So next time your day is going wrong, be thankful. That day is going to make the next just that more enjoyable. After all, you never know when your last day will be.
In story of Adam and Eve, the tree of knowledge of good and evil was the entity that showed the very nature of evil (indirectly) and cost the two the eutopic life in the garden. However, without realizing evil, the two never truly appreciated the good. The concept may seem simplistic, but the moral of the story is incredibly relevant and can be applied to just about anything in life.
My point is the small things in life that make you feel like your day is ruined are the very things that make your life beautiful. Why? They make you realize everything you have, and then you appreciate things when they do go your way. Without all the little wrong things, you would be so used to everything going right, that it would be just as bad as things always going wrong. It would just be routine. Boring, unappreciative routine.
So next time your day is going wrong, be thankful. That day is going to make the next just that more enjoyable. After all, you never know when your last day will be.
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