First and Amistad

I know you have heard that new song by the Fray, "You Found Me". It is interesting because listening to the lyrics of the song provoke ideas that I have always had yet never really wrote about. Specifically---"I found God---on the corner of First and Amistad......all alone, smoking his last cigarette."

Consider that perhaps God isn't bound by Heaven. What stops him from just being someone you carelessly pass along the sidewalk? Maybe a homeless man begging you for some money or some old woman smiling as you walk by?

It is an idea that I find incredibly touching. It may sound crazy, but then again so does the idea that God, in all of his unfathomable power, isn't allowed to leave Heaven..

So maybe God, himself, is the person you are holding the door for, or smiling at, or even sacrificing a single dollar to..

Ideas v. Facts

I consider myself to be an optimistic realist, and I feel like I give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to be sincere and not judgmental, but shit some people make that difficult.

I like to believe that people are inherently good--that all people are sensitive to others' needs and selfless. The unfortunate reality is that most individuals are both dumb and inconsiderate--waiting tables has introduced me to this concept.

For instance, I was serving this lady not too long ago, and things started out fairly well. I greeted her with a smile and told her my name, and was semi-interrupted by her harsh request "I'll take a diet coke, extra ice." No big deal. (It happens all the time, in fact I would venture to say that maybe 3 out of 10 tables will answer a "hi, how are you doing?" with the response "diet coke".)

Anyway, I bring her her drink and she orders a pizza, which takes a little longer than the average entree as it is made-to-order. She then complains to me about 6 minutes after ordering that her food is taking too long, which isn't too uncommon either.

Really lady? There are kids in Africa that would wait 2 weeks to eat the meal that you are about to obliviously consume, and you are complaining that it isn't out in 5 minutes?

The thing is is that I encounter so many people that are so used to getting everything that they don't appreciate anything, and it astounds me. So many people that come out to eat need SO much attention, and are SO hateful about it. I really think some people get off on telling someone else what to do.

Another good one---a fellow server waited a table on my last shift that told her right off the bat "we don't have enough money to tip you, so sorry." Really? If you budget is that tight, shouldn't you be buying your spaghetti and meat sauce from Kroger? It would cost $3 there instead of $10 here. I wanted to throw hot coffee on them.

I try to be appreciative for what I do have, as I live in one of the wealthiest countries on the planet, and already have more than I could ever dream of needing. Why do few share this concept? When you go out to eat, be respectful and appreciative. When I have kids, they will KNOW THIS!

Unhappiness

You tell me I am imperfect and not good enough
then that you love me

You tell me that I am not sensitive enough
then you overlook how I try to love you

You try to control me
when it is my life to live.

You tell me that I should change
when its you that should change.

Gluttony: the American dream?

I just heard on CNN that American banks gave out 18 million dollars in bonuses to employees while taking bailout money to stay above water. How the fuck are you giving that much money away when you don't even have that money to keep your business going?

That is the problem. The American dream is wanting more, more, more and needing more, more, more. We need more sports cars, bigger houses and more expensive things that are more glamorous than the expensive things we already have.

I see this ALL the time working in the service business. People don't even eat all of the salad and bread brought to their table, yet keep asking for more. It is as though everything on the table most be full at all times. Has gluttony become the American dream?

Life Transitions

""The real world is a big change, more then you can ever imagine when you are sitting in the classroom thinking about the outside world."
-Anonymous business school grad, quoted in a recent story covering life transitions


With the closing of my college career, several doors have opened in my life. Though with each choice, there are drastic pros and cons to certain situations. I have always read that the transition between college and the real world is tough and very stressful for some, but no amount of reading could have prepared me for this.

I don't know what I want to do with my life, and I feel that now I am searching for something that might interest me, rather than where my passion is.

Having to face these decisions and practically map my life out has certainly been a reality check. A good reality check, but a very stressful one.

According to Drs. Randall S. Hansen and Katherine Hansen, "...it seems to be a harsh reality to many college seniors and recent grads that obtaining a job offer is very time-consuming and a lot of work -- and it's even harder to obtain the ideal scenario of having multiple job offers."

A Touch of Frost

For as long as I can remember, I have kept people at arm's length---in several senses.

I have always had a problem with trusting people, because in reality everyone fucks up. No one is perfect and everyone is going to let you down at some point. It doesn't mean that they don't care about you. I used to kick people to the curve for no real reason. Thinking you are too good is a shitty outlook to have, so if you have that mentality, you should change it.

I used to be a jerk. I never really cared for people that I dated. I mean don't get me wrong, I never cheated on anyone or pulled anything like that, but I never really allowed myself to care for people.

I feel like a lot of people live life with a cold heart, and I can speak from experience. It isn't worth it. Sure someone that was close to you might have betrayed you and jaded you, but you have to wake up--its happened to everyone.

The past 6 months have changed me in a lot of ways. I fell in love, and fell quite hard. It started out incredible, and still is after 7 months. Sure there are ups and downs, but everyone has them. (Those little bullshit fights are called " actually caring about someone")

This feeling has really changed my outlook on life, and I couldn't imagine going through life without it. I look back on past relationships and really see the significant difference in having something with someone you care about and haven had something with someone you don't.

This has taught me the necessity of complete and utter honesty, even if that means hurting someone's feelings. This has taught me what I want in myself, and in others and has made me a better person.

Wow

I am watching HGTV, and they are showing a "remodeled" 70s trailer. Why spend 4 grand on a over 30 year old trailer? Come on people.