Life is a very interesting thing--truly..
You will meet people who you will love, and people who will love you. You will meet people that will lie to you and mislead you, and others will do their best to steer you in the right direction.
But one of the worst feelings in life is when someone you love betrays you. Maybe it happens over a long period of time, or maybe it happens within a few hours, either way it is painful.
Life is what you make of these situations, whether you prevail or your life spirals downward.
I sincerely hope that when you have to face these decisions, you prevail--because you deserve to.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Facades
I think there is a certain importance in the idea of just being who you naturally are. Yes, I know. That seems to be an unpopular idea with a majority of the gay community.
You know what I mean?
For instance, I was talking to someone the other day, and he said something along the lines of "its the girly fags that give gay people a bad name." It is somewhat ironic as you can tell he is gay from a mile away, tans too much and is probably one of the most effeminate gay people I have ever met.
I think it is that guy who gives gay people a bad name. People who aren't strong enough just to be who they are, and find themselves molding into someone else they are nothing like. Sure you can pretend like you have some validation through manhunt, but who are you really kidding?
We all know these people. Those who present themselves as something they find more marketable than who they really are. Yes--it's them who ONLY talk about how many times they have hooked up and have to remind you every 5 minutes that someone out there finds them attractive on some gay hook-up site. Ok, we understand-- you aren't comfortable with who you are.
I actually commend people for being proud enough and man enough to be who they are. It is a little easier for some people as you may naturally fit in with certain culture expectations, but for others it can be very difficult. Anyone can clumsily try to camouflage themselves. But in the end, your sincerity is what is going to get you what you want.
Gay people of all shapes, sizes and mannerisms have tried to make it a point to have the right to be who they are. I just find it disgusting that some little queen prances around talking about how people being who they are is what is wrong with the gay community.
You know what I mean?
For instance, I was talking to someone the other day, and he said something along the lines of "its the girly fags that give gay people a bad name." It is somewhat ironic as you can tell he is gay from a mile away, tans too much and is probably one of the most effeminate gay people I have ever met.
I think it is that guy who gives gay people a bad name. People who aren't strong enough just to be who they are, and find themselves molding into someone else they are nothing like. Sure you can pretend like you have some validation through manhunt, but who are you really kidding?
We all know these people. Those who present themselves as something they find more marketable than who they really are. Yes--it's them who ONLY talk about how many times they have hooked up and have to remind you every 5 minutes that someone out there finds them attractive on some gay hook-up site. Ok, we understand-- you aren't comfortable with who you are.
I actually commend people for being proud enough and man enough to be who they are. It is a little easier for some people as you may naturally fit in with certain culture expectations, but for others it can be very difficult. Anyone can clumsily try to camouflage themselves. But in the end, your sincerity is what is going to get you what you want.
Gay people of all shapes, sizes and mannerisms have tried to make it a point to have the right to be who they are. I just find it disgusting that some little queen prances around talking about how people being who they are is what is wrong with the gay community.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The complexity of love
I always thought I knew what love was--not family or friend love, but romantic love. I didn't.
You see it on TV and read about it in books, but the actual complexity of love seems to evade a majority of people. No, it isn't always rainbows, balloons and poetry. In fact, it rarely meets the ideals of televised perfection. I have discovered what love is, and it wasn't exactly what I had imagined.
Yes, I am in love, and yes I love it, but love is boot camp for your emotions. There are a lot of ups and downs, but that is what makes you respect and want what you have. After all, you never want something that is easy----easy come easy go.
People tell me what love should be, yet most of those people tell me they have never been in love. Reality will prove that TV paints the "love life" as much more poetic than reality (don't get me wrong, it is great, but no one is perfect and nothing is perfect and I am very happy and very much in love).
You will have fights, and you will have disagreements, and if you are expecting to have love without these things, than you have unrealistic expectations. I see so many people say that they had someone great, but it just wasn't what they saw in the movies, and I begin to wonder is culture beginning to define love as something that isn't real?
I have talked to people about the idea of love and received responses such as "love should be easy or something you don't have to work for. It is something that just naturally happens." To this and those who believe this, I will tell you that you are just wrong.
Love isn't easy, and it takes work. People just wait for it to plop down in your lap without any effort or care, and it won't happen.
Now whether you think it is worth the effort to work through problems is your decision, but I will tell you this. There are very few people in your life that you will feel an intense connection with, and it be a mutual feeling. Those connections are worth working for and trying to make last--now I am sure that are some irreparable situations that may prove me wrong, but I am speaking generally. If you have something that makes you feel complete, you will have to work for it.
People have to realize that what comes easy leaves easier.
You see it on TV and read about it in books, but the actual complexity of love seems to evade a majority of people. No, it isn't always rainbows, balloons and poetry. In fact, it rarely meets the ideals of televised perfection. I have discovered what love is, and it wasn't exactly what I had imagined.
Yes, I am in love, and yes I love it, but love is boot camp for your emotions. There are a lot of ups and downs, but that is what makes you respect and want what you have. After all, you never want something that is easy----easy come easy go.
People tell me what love should be, yet most of those people tell me they have never been in love. Reality will prove that TV paints the "love life" as much more poetic than reality (don't get me wrong, it is great, but no one is perfect and nothing is perfect and I am very happy and very much in love).
You will have fights, and you will have disagreements, and if you are expecting to have love without these things, than you have unrealistic expectations. I see so many people say that they had someone great, but it just wasn't what they saw in the movies, and I begin to wonder is culture beginning to define love as something that isn't real?
I have talked to people about the idea of love and received responses such as "love should be easy or something you don't have to work for. It is something that just naturally happens." To this and those who believe this, I will tell you that you are just wrong.
Love isn't easy, and it takes work. People just wait for it to plop down in your lap without any effort or care, and it won't happen.
Now whether you think it is worth the effort to work through problems is your decision, but I will tell you this. There are very few people in your life that you will feel an intense connection with, and it be a mutual feeling. Those connections are worth working for and trying to make last--now I am sure that are some irreparable situations that may prove me wrong, but I am speaking generally. If you have something that makes you feel complete, you will have to work for it.
People have to realize that what comes easy leaves easier.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Recycled Hatred
Today was a great day for America, as President Barack Obama took office. I had the immense displeasure of working during the inauguration speech (not that I don't love my job, I just couldn't enjoy the event while serving 3 hyper-needy tables).
As servers walked out of the area where the TV was plugged in, a customer noticed their server leaving after watching the inauguration speech. The woman, who looked quite homely, asked the server "Are you back there watching that n*gger?"
After hearing this, It took a lot for me not to say something to this poster child for white trash, but I began to think about her hatred and what that has done to our world. I stopped and thought about her immense ignorance and imagined what Earth would be like without that.
It was hatred that killed Jesus Christ.
It was hatred that enslaved blacks.
It is hatred that creates racism and discrimination against all minorities.
It is hatred that rapes innocent people.
It is hatred that fuels most of what is wrong with Earth.
So I wondered--does this woman have any concept of the ideals that she may be passing down to her grandchild she eats lunch with? What kind of a person could say such a thing?
As servers walked out of the area where the TV was plugged in, a customer noticed their server leaving after watching the inauguration speech. The woman, who looked quite homely, asked the server "Are you back there watching that n*gger?"
After hearing this, It took a lot for me not to say something to this poster child for white trash, but I began to think about her hatred and what that has done to our world. I stopped and thought about her immense ignorance and imagined what Earth would be like without that.
It was hatred that killed Jesus Christ.
It was hatred that enslaved blacks.
It is hatred that creates racism and discrimination against all minorities.
It is hatred that rapes innocent people.
It is hatred that fuels most of what is wrong with Earth.
So I wondered--does this woman have any concept of the ideals that she may be passing down to her grandchild she eats lunch with? What kind of a person could say such a thing?
Fidelty
Why does it seem that young monogamous couples are hard to come by? Straight and gay?
I love someone. I only want to be with my boyfriend. Why has it become socially acceptable for couples, both straight and gay, to do questionable things while the other is not around? I honestly think it is impossible to build a great relationship with one person if you are sleeping with another.
I think the boundaries of commitment have been grossly stretched. I see cheating EVERYWHERE, at work, in circles of friends and in the social scene in general.
I just wonder where loyalty is? Maybe I am just too old fashioned.
I love someone. I only want to be with my boyfriend. Why has it become socially acceptable for couples, both straight and gay, to do questionable things while the other is not around? I honestly think it is impossible to build a great relationship with one person if you are sleeping with another.
I think the boundaries of commitment have been grossly stretched. I see cheating EVERYWHERE, at work, in circles of friends and in the social scene in general.
I just wonder where loyalty is? Maybe I am just too old fashioned.
Graduation
Why is it that when you think you have your life figured out, you find yourself running into a brick wall?
You always feel prepared, and then you catch a curve ball that you never saw coming. Is that the beauty of life? Being unexpectedly knocked over and being pushed out of your comfort zone?
I have always been a planner--someone that had some idea of where they were going. Now I find that my life can't be planned. I have no idea of where I will be in a year, and that isn't as comforting or as exciting as it may sound.
Though I suppose that is the beauty of life--not knowing how things will be, or what will happen or even who you will meet. It is all part of a process that even the planners in life can't control or anticipate.
Graduation has really knocked me on my ass.
You always feel prepared, and then you catch a curve ball that you never saw coming. Is that the beauty of life? Being unexpectedly knocked over and being pushed out of your comfort zone?
I have always been a planner--someone that had some idea of where they were going. Now I find that my life can't be planned. I have no idea of where I will be in a year, and that isn't as comforting or as exciting as it may sound.
Though I suppose that is the beauty of life--not knowing how things will be, or what will happen or even who you will meet. It is all part of a process that even the planners in life can't control or anticipate.
Graduation has really knocked me on my ass.
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